If you asked a question you would get fined. If you made a stupid comment you would get fined. If you didn’t follow the rule book you would get fined. If you wore the wrong clothes you would get fined. So basically you could do whatever the hell you wanted but you would get away with nothing.
"THE GREAT ESCAPE KINSALE"
Prison break was the theme this year. We were allocated black and white striped jerseys and it was compulsory to wear these at all times. On the back of each jersey were code names, prisoners and prison guards had to be referred to by these names at all times otherwise liquid penalties would be distributed on the spot or at court that evening. My code name was Ned Kelly and I was in jail for daylight robbery i.e. I stole Connie Li’s (a Chinese boarders) single bed so I could join it with mine and make a double bed however I continued to fall between the Gap. And as stated in my blurb I am Gap obsessed so a generally whenever I was talking to a nice boy one of the fellow prisoners would yell out: “Mind Ned’s Gap.. You might fall in.”
Luckily I wasn’t the only Aussie on tour. Bold Jack i.e. Monica from W.A was a fellow Aussie prisoner. However being an Aussie and the youngest tourist by a long shot – still in my teenage years basically I was in for it. It was mandatory for me to wear a bib and carry a dummy for the whole of tour, which to my dismay I lost in the first 10 minutes of being on the Kinsale 7’s by the sea tournament pitches along with my whole swag bag which I later found out was stolen by Bridget which was retrieved on the return flight. We each had a bar of soap on the rope so it wouldn’t be dropped in the shower and this had to be on our wrists all the time except on the playing pitch. Our first two games were against Sweden and England... need I say more. On the second day we scored some tries and actually won a few games- playing with a hangover or even when still drunk was the trick!
(Above is a photo of me getting fined for spitting out my gum.. i had to pick it up and put it in the bin without using my hands!)
(can you spot me in photo below?)
Annie: Ned Kelly (Blurb about me written by the tour committee!!)
The mighty Ned Kelly sometimes gets piles. She has a sticky temperament and likes bathing in honey. Been done up for fraud, fluffy dice laundering and indecent exposure. This ruthless character also violated an unsuspecting Chinese student. Ned is Gap obsessed. Has been caught discussing her Gap with minors and fell into a very large Gap (not her own) she still has scars to prove it. Please mind Ned’s Gap! This trisexual doesn’t do it with chairs but isn’t opposed to the odd settee. A hit with fellow inmates when doing the Nut bush with TimTams strapped to her Numnums.
The colander was my tour item that i had to carry with me at all times.. my head was the easiest place for it!!
Because of speech day and my rugby end of season pyjama dinner party I had to postpone my arrival in Amsterdam meaning that instead of catching the 11hour bus ride with everyone else I caught a 40 minute plane trip. I quite liked to idea of arriving without jetlag but I was travelling alone which tends to be a bit on the boring side. The journey was set off to a bad start when I walked from Bearwood to Winnersh station in the pouring English rain simply because I wanted to save money on a cab but to my dismay arrived at Winnersh completely soaked and had to change my clothes. I sat shivering in the station shelter yet I remained positive, it wouldn’t be long until I was on my way plus I had looked up all the train times and had a smooth efficient travel route to Gatwick airport. However upon arriving at Wokingham I was soon told a bus service would be replacing trains then after waiting for half an hour it was announced that the whole trip was cancelled and there you have it nothing is perfect! Anyway after pretty much going via London I made it to the airport and after a quick visit to M&S simply food I was ready and happy for the journey ahead. Regardless of the rush to get to the airport I still found myself sitting around for a good hour in the airport waiting room when I heard some familiar voices and I looked across at these three rough looking lads and who couldn’t have guessed of course they were Aussies. So as we were heading over to gate 1 I butted in a and asked “So where are you boys from in Aus?” and the first one replied Grenfell, I am at Uni in Wagga Wagga what are small world... and of course they were also going to Amsterdam! 
Amsterdam itself was a fascinating place, filled with canals and over 1000 bridges. Yes we stayed in the oh so famous Red Light District at a hostel called The Heart of Amsterdam. We checked out the many local coffee shops that mind you didn’t sell too much coffee rather focused on hash brownies, space cakes, magic mushrooms and of course weed. It was hard to walk along the streets without seeing many prostitutes sitting alone in a window which they hire out for €100 a night. These windows are doors that open up to a little room with a bed… if the curtains on these windows are drawn you know that a prostitute is at work. Amsterdam also had a many museums and exhibitions to visit for a start the famous Van Gough lived in Amsterdam and many of his original artworks are still there today. On the contrary there were a many sex museums that consisted of hysterical and sometimes disturbing sculptures, photographs, paintings and live figures. However for me the most moving experience was visiting the Anne Frank Huis where we climbed to the attic and even looked in a mirror that I dare say Anne would have looked in whilst she was in hiding for about 2 years with 8 others.
